Published on May 30, 2016
Before every woman’s beautiful white wedding comes the controversial gathering of the bride to be’s besties for a weekend of (more often than not) total shenanigans. These shenanigans used to comprise of a small get together of close-knit friends toasting the happiness of one of their best friends over a few glasses of champagne in a quiet, traditional pub. Nowadays, shenanigans means total shenanigans. How do you identify a hen and her trusty henettes? Apart from the abundance of inflatable penises, L plates and pink, sparkly glitter, you’ll easily be able to spot 7 specific characters on just a moment’s glance…
The bride to be, this is an easy one. Not only will she be the centre of attention, she’ll be coated head to toe in a ridiculous amount of laughable accessories that scream “HEN PARTY ON THE RAMPAGE”. The queen hen herself may come across as overwhelmed by her secret bachelorette party but in actual fact, she’s been planning it on the quiet with her chief bridesmade. Watch out for those fake expressions that imply she had no idea where they’re going and what is going on when in actual fact she has it planned down to a tee.
We all have one and we all need one. A self-designated mother hen to ensure everyone makes it back to their accommodation in one piece. Her duties include steadying the wobblers, holding the hair back of the pukers and switching the vodkas to waters for the hens that have had way too much.
You’ll pick out the “can’t quite handle herself” (AKA the early peaker) hen because she’ll be attached to the mother hen for physical support, chatting up a young, attractive lad half her age ( 23% of hens admitted to flirting at a hen party), or taking advantage of the £5 for 5 shots offer at the bar single handedly. Woohing and drinking is encouraged by the henettes, but sometimes one takes it too far and ends up with their head in the toilet. Good effort fellow hen, now get yourself to bed (as seen to by mother hen).
It goes without saying that a lot of people want to forget the outrageous actions from the night before. Unfortunately, there’s always one hen that has to capture every moment on camera! Say “Charlie’s hen weekend 2k16 we’re never going to forget because I’ve got it all on camera”, here comes another selfie!
Chief organiser hen will want to make sure that her carefully planned scheduled is followed down to every tiny detail! If you hear what sounds like a deep barking noise on a night out, you can safely assume you’ve found a hen group being giving their marching orders. Someone needs to inform the controlling hen that the world isn’t going to end if her rigid structure doesn’t quite go to plan, and we can assure you, it won’t!
What’s that wailing sound you ask yourself? Is someone in trouble? Has a celeb just hit the dance floor? No. This is the sound of the single pringle expressing her happiness for the bride to be, and sadness of her extensive loneliness all in one, guy repelling cry. Mother hen, you’re needed yet again. (We wouldn’t want to be mother hen.)
This particular hen is easily identified by the distance between her and her fellow hen doers. She’s a friend of a friend that probably shouldn’t have got an invite. Left out the circle of trust, she has to weave in here and there with witty puns and a bottle of bubbly for the girls to make her feel like part of the pack.
Have you been able to successfully identify these hens? Do you think there are more hen classes that we have missed? Let us know what you think!
Speaking of hen parties, have you checked out our luxury hen weekend suggestions yet?